The Psychic Hotline

I read this many years ago and it has always stuck with me…

The Traveler and the Farmer

A traveler between towns stops and asks a farmer what the people are like in the next town.

“What were they like in the town you came from?” the farmer asks.

“Rotten,” the traveler says. “Selfish, lazy, untrustworthy. Couldn’t wait to leave them behind.”

“Unfortunately, that’s what you’ll find in the next town too,” the farmer says.

Soon, another traveler comes along with the same question, and the farmer asks what the people were like in the town he came from.

“Incredible,” the second traveler says. “Good and kind and generous. I will miss them.”

“That’s what you’ll find in the next town too,” the farmer says.

Here is what this says to me: “You will always find what you are looking for… in people, in life, in the world in which we live.”

We had a great Mother’s Day weekend. (with the exception of Noah leaving an impression (a.k.a his breakfast) on his sister, the car door and the ground at mile marker 76 of I-74 on Saturday morning) It was a beautiful weekend spent with the family.  Like the true hillbillies my nephew Luke believes we are, we camped in our driveway (because we didn’t want to be too far from home should Noah have a repeat of the mornings events) went fishing and took a long hike.  The weekend was what EVERY weekend SHOULD be – a celebration of ME, complete with me setting the agenda, not doing dishes, and having the children I created celebrate and wait on ME.  Perfect.

Monday morning, still somewhat in a blissful dreamy state I am curled up in my bed with Meg (who graces us with her presences every night about 2 am).  We are as snuggled tight, so intertwined that I am not sure where I stop and she begins in this cool room under fluffy blankets.  I take in the lavender smell of her freshly washed hair and feel it so soft next to my cheeks.  I love these moments… it is exactly what I think motherhood should be. 

In her soft sleepy voice I hear her whisper 3 little words:

“Mom, I pee.”

And then I feel it.  A warm blanket of liquid that seems to dampen every piece of me. 

“No, no, no GET UP!” I yell as I push her out of bed and try to mitigate the damage and amounts of laundry this leaking child is creating. 

She stands there rubbing her sleepy eyes looking at me.  “GO TO THE BATHROOM NOW!”  I say.

Her response:  “I just did” 

She is right, she did just go to the bathroom.  It simply wasn't where I would have preferred she go.

There is nothing left to say and beds to strip …and so my Monday begins.

I roll out of bed and look at my calendar.  Meetings, Dr appointment, workout, errands, reports that have to be done…. and now laundry.  The mental grumbling begins.

“I don’t want to deal with that today.” 

“The grocery store again?  I am sick of grocery shopping” 

“I don’t want to exercise”

In my head I hear the same annoying whining I often tell my kids to stop.  I momentarily wonder where they get it?  Todd, I tell myself.

And then I remember the famer and the traveller.  I decide I need to check my pre-determined outlook towards all these things. 

The reality is the events of my day need to happen.  HOW they happen is dependent upon my attitude. 

I have to go to meetings.  If I go in thinking “ugh, worst meeting ever I don’t want to be here” chance are I will leave the worst. meeting. ever.

I have to exercise.  If I think “worst 40 minutes of my day” it will probably feel more like 400 long and painful minutes.

Here is what I understand.  When I go into something thinking it is going to be awful - 100% of the time I find something awful about it. 

It is like I am one of those workers for a 1-900 Psychic hotlines who has an “amazing ability” to predict the future!

But it is not very often that I got into a situation thinking “This is gonna suck” that I walk away thinking “woo hoo that was awesome!” 

So, I am not “predicting” the future as much as I am using my attitude to shape my experience. 

If I have made up my mind that I am going to hate someone or something - I will find a reason to "justify" my pre-determined attitude.  Sometimes that reason won’t even be hard to find because bad things are bad people are a part of life. 

But good things are good people are also a part of life. 

So if I think of myself as the traveller, knowing I will always find what I am looking for in others, in situations, in my day I need to decide: What am I going to take the time to look for? 

Knowing time is a gift and a limited resource - I choose to look for good.  I won’t say this is always easy, but I see it as the only alternative.

Summer is coming… some days it will be hard to leave for work every day while my kids plan their daily adventures with Todd.  I can choose to grumble or I can be grateful that my kids get to spend their days with an involved dad who is creative and loving. 

Students are graduating and changes are happening on the hilltop.  I can choose to mourn for the “good old days” or celebrate the fact that my path ever crossed with some of these folks and be open to the new students and staff I will encounter.

I literally got pee’d on yesterday.  I can be annoyed by the experience and angry with Meg or I can appreciate a child who loves to cuddle with her mamma and the feel of freshly washed sheets.

I always find what I am looking for…  I am making to decision to look for joy.  That isn't sitting back and viewing the world through "rose colored glasses".  It is a conscious choice to actively seek the good in all things and people.

What are you looking for today?  Let me know if you find it.